Hum Hallelujah
by BandanasAreCool
Summary: The boys decide to give Katie The Talk, and learn some... interesting news in the process. No slash! I'll update as often as possible. Just read it. Hope you like it! Also, after reading vote on the poll in my profile on what happens next!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey, so this is my first fanfic, and I can't decide whether or not I want to just leave it as a little one-shot, or add more chapters. I kind of want to add more chapters, but part of me just wants to leave it as is. What do yo guys think! If you leave a review, it'll be pretty much up to you since I'm expecting like 2 reviews total. Anyway, read it!**

**Disclaimer thingy: I suppose I don't own Big Time Rush. You probably don't want me to go into detail on how it would be different, for your mental health. But you probably get the idea, since I'm saying this.**

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Kendall opened the door to apartment 2J, taking a deep breath. The other guys followed him, giving each other confused glances, wondering why this had to be done now. Katie was only ten!

They walked in to find Katie sitting on the couch, watching some TV show that was way innapropriate for her age. Maybe that was why they had to do this.

"Um, Katie," Kendall began, hesitantly, "Is mom home?"

"Nope," she replied without taking her eyes off the TV.

"Okay, then we have something we'd like to talk to you about," He said, taking a deep breath. Katie just nodded dissmisively. "Could you turn the TV off?" he added.

Katie gave him one look, noticing how uncomfortable her brother seemed. Behind him, Carlos was snickering, Logan looked concentrated and serious, and James was just full-on beaming. Now she couldn't wait to hear this. She turned the TV off and turned her attention to the boys.

"Aright, so, Katie, do you know what, um," he paused, but Carlos finished for him.

"Do you know what sex is?" he blurted it out, getting it over with.

James laughed. "Dude, of course she knows. Look what she's watching!"

Katie nodded. "Yeah, I know. Why?" She looked amused.

"Good," Kendall began, sitting down on one of the bar stools. "Wait, you know, everything?"

"Pretty much."

"Okay, well we thought you should hear about it now, so when you're our age, you, um- won't." He continued, adding, "I mean, at our age," he gestured to the rest of the guys, "you just shouldn't. It's not good. Most people don't until they get married. Heck, some people choose to stay a virgin for life," now James was laughing. Kendall shot him a threatening glare. "And that's totally cool. I think it's a great idea. I've never personally had sex, but I've heard it is not fun."

"Bullshit," James began, moving next to Kendall, and rubbing his hands together. "That is not true. I have had sex, many times," he looked up, smiling at his own thoughts, "and it is great. So don't listen to your brother. I've banged so many girls here and in Minnesota and they all love me and-"

"JAMES!" Kendall screamed. "Shut up!" He tackled him.

"Well," Carlos began, "I have never done it, but they still won't completely tell me how!" Everyone looked at him, slowly shaking their heads. "Anyway, I probably would have, but no one will do it with me! But I've heard it's pretty great from James and your br-" Kendall shot him a shut-the-fuck-up-now-or-I-will-kick-your-ass look, so Carlos continued, "I mean James. J-just James."

Katie giggled, thinking this was pretty much the funniest thing she'd ever seen. Next came Logan's turn to talk. Kendall had let James go, and James had quietly agreed not to share anymore.

"Anyway," Logan began, "I have had the opportunity to have sex," he said, thinking of Camille, "but decided not to because of the risks involved." Kendall looked satisfied by this. Katie had seen that coming. What she didn't see coming was Logan reaching behind the couch, and pulling out a white board, covered in facts about pregnancy and STD's. She cut him off as he began to lecture her about it.

"Dude, I'm ten!" She turned to Kendall, who still looked uncomfortable, "And I won't have sex. Don't worry."

He visibly relaxed, satisfied. Just as they were about to get up and leave, the door opened, and Jo walked in.

"Kendall," she began, "I'm pregnant."

Kendall's jaw dropped. Logan spit out his drink. Carlos leaned forward raising his eyebrows, as if to say _'come again?'_ James just looked panicked.

"Shit." James stated. Kendall was still speechless, only able to scrunch his face up into his _'ooh I'm screwed' _look.

"So, I guess you have done it," Katie said, looking satisfied, even though she too was surprised.

Mrs. Knight walked in, "Hey," she began, then, noticing the expression on everyone's faces, added, "What happened?"

Kendall nodded slowly to Logan, who went over and quietly filled her in. Mrs. Knight's eyes grew wide, and she grabbed her purse, knowing she needed to leave the boys and Jo alone for awhile.

"Katie, we're going to the grocery store. Now!" She called.

"But Mom-"

"KATIE!"

Katie sighed, rolled her eyes, and followed her mom out the door. As soon as the door closed behind them, Kendall turned to Jo, finally able to speak.

"So... Are you sure?"

"Yup," she said, looking at the ground. Kendall passed out, falling back onto the big orange couch.

"Fuck. I'm so screwed. Kendall's gonna be so pissed, then he's gonna beat the shit out of me, and he's gonna screw up my face, and I won't be pretty anymore-"

Jo cut him off, "James! Focus! How are we gonna tell Kendall?"

"Whoa, whoa," Carlos said, "Tell Kendall what?"

James took a deep breath, "Well, every time they," he gestured to Jo and the unconcious Kendall, "had sex, they used a condom. Which means, there's a pretty good chance this is my bad."

"What?" Logan screamed, shocked. "You two had sex?"

"Just once..." Jo said, turning red, "It just sort of, happened."

"And I was great," James added, before realizing this probably wasn't a good time to brag.

"So... you, slept with Kendall's girlfriend." Logan said, trying to figure this out in his head.

"Pretty much," James replied.

"Nice!" Carlos exclaimed, then realized what this meant. "Oh..."

"And now she's gonna have your baby," Logan continued, "which Kendall thinks is his."

"This is a mess," Jo shook her head, covering her face with one hand.

"The good side," James mentioned, "is that your baby is gonna be gorgeous," he pulled out his mirror, then started moving his eyebrows, still looking at the mirror, adding, "and will be a lot less likely to have crazy-ass eyebrows." They all looked at Kendall, then at Jo, then at James. It was true.

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**A/N: So, what did you think? Was it good? Awful? Is it done? Should I add more? review!**

**Also, the title is based off a Fall Out Boy song, pretty much about a teenage one-night stand and getting some girl pregnant. Make sense now? Listen to the song, it's pretty good!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: 6 Reviews? What's this? Thank you so much guys! I'm honestly shocked. People actually like this? You're the best!**

**And, as promised, chapter 2! I know, hold your applause. I had something else to say, it was pretty funny too, but I don't remember now. Oh well, just read the damn story.**

**Disclaimer: Don't even get me started on how I don't own BTR.**

Awhile later, Kendall woke up to find Jo gone, the other three guys standing around uncomfortably.

"Where'd she go?" He asked.

"She said she wanted some time alone, to think about this. You should probably give her some space for a little bit," James said cautiously, glancing at Logan and Carlos.

Kendall sighed, slapping a hand onto his face. "Yeah, she's probably right. I'll be down in the lobby," he said half-heartedly, leaving.

Logan and Carlos turned to face James in synchrony, arms crossed. "Well?" they asked at the same time, raising their eyebrows and acting like they were his parents.

"I'll talk to him, I'll talk to him!" James replied, his voice getting high with stress. They had agreed that it would be better for James to talk to Kendall before Jo did, seeing as it would be worse if Kendall were to hit Jo than James. James was the only one who hadn't agreed with that, but he was over ruled.

"So, what happened with Jo?" Carlos asked, extremely curious.

"I-" James began, and sighed, "We were at a party, that one where you and Kendall were sick, and Logan had to study?" The smaller boys nodded, Logan looking concerned and Carlos very eager. "Anyway, she was going to meet Kendall there, but he obviously couldn't come. So she was having a horrible time, tagging along as Camille flirted with random other guys. I wasn't having fun either, the party was a total bust. It was so bad that Jo, good-girl Jo, started drinking. I went over and started talking to her, at this point we were both totally drunk. And we started making out. No idea why, just for the hell of it. Then we had sex." He leaned back, stating the last part simply, as if it was so big deal, and he should really go now-

"Wait," Logan said, "That's it?"

"Yeah," Carlos agreed, "what happens next?" He leaned forward, wanting to hear.

James sighed and sat back down, rolling his eyes. "So, we had sex, then after, we realized what happened, and agreed to never speak of it again. You remember that day, Mrs. Knight was out, and I came home completely hungover. We never talked about it again. But then she had to go and get pregnant, and screw everything up, for me." He put emphasis on the _for me_, as if this was really a hardship for him.

"Well," Carlos said, "Have fun telling Kendall!" He patted James on the shoulder as Logan held the door open, making a swooping _'after you' _gesture as he held the door open, like a real gentleman whose best friend was about to get his ass kicked by his other best friend. They grinned and waved as James left, shooting them an angry glare and stealing one last glance in the mirror before going to tell Kendall.

"He is so screwed," Carlos said, still smiling, as James left.

"Yup," Logan agreed, "Fruitwater?" He handed one to Carlos, still laughing a little.

James walked into the lobby to find Kendall pacing back and forth, waving anybody who came near away.

"Hey, buddy," He began, putting on his most innocent smile. This was best done in public, right? Kendall wouldn't do anything in public, would he? "What's up?"

_"WHAT'S UP?" _Kendall shouted, throwing his hands in the air and giving James an are-you-kidding-or-just-stupid look, then, noticing how many people were watching, lowered his voice, "Well, let's see, I'm sixteen and got my girlfriend, the newly famous tv star, pregnant!" he whisper yelled.

"Yeah, about that..." James began.

Kendall looked up, raising one of his big eyebrows. "Yes?"

"I-," James opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He tried again. "I-had sex with Jo and the baby might be mine," he said in one breath, his eyes getting wide with fear as soon as the words came out.

"WHAT?" Kendall shouted, even though he had heard very clearly. He raised his fist, obviously not taking it well. James flinched, hoping he would lower it like Logan had. Kendall hit a hell of a lot harder than Logan.

Kendall did not lower his fist. Or his voice. He punched James, kicked James, tackled James, while screaming at him all the same.

"Fuck you!"

"Ow!"

"Why'd you do it?"

"I'm sorr- Holy shit dude, that hurt!"

Bitters heard this, running out of his office because there was not supposed to be any bad language in his Palm Woods lobby. When he saw Kendall beating James up, he got the nearest guys to help break it up.

It took Jett, Guitar Dude, and That Kid That Smells Like Cornchips, but eventually they were able to pull Kendall off of James. Kendall turned around and punched Jett in the face, as James crawled off to the elevator, to go back to their apartment. Kendall left, both escaping before Bitters got a chance to yell at them.

James stumbled into the apartment, covered in bruises, two black eyes, a bloody nose, and his hair messed up. Carlos, who was sitting at the bar, clearly waiting for Kendall or James to come back, knocked over his chocolate milk when he saw him.

"Dude, I never thought I'd say this, but you look like shit," he said, half amazed and half worried.

James groaned, falling onto the couch. "Everything hurts..."

Logan came out of his room. "Hey, I heard James- Oh my God."

James moaned again. "Carlos, can I have an icepack?" he asked, weakly pointing at the freezer.

"Sure dude," without thinking, he tossed it, the icepack landing on James's chest with a thud. To James is sounded more like an avalanche.

"Ahhh... Hurts... What the fuck Carlos?"

"Sorry"

"Hey guys," Logan cut in, "where's Kendall?"

"He just sorta left," James began, his eyes getting wide as they met Logan's, both realizing what could happen.

"Jo." They said in unison, as panic came over Logan's face.

"What?" Carlos said, looking up from his corndog and the chocolate milk he still hadn't cleaned up.

"Carlos," Logan started, "Go make sure Kendall doesn't get arrested for abuse, while I watch him," he jabbed a thumb towards James.

"Got it," Carlos said, tapping his helmet twice and running out the door to go find his friend.

"Ow... My balls... May never have children..."

Logan shot him a look, eyebrows raised.

"Right..." James replied, wincing a little. "But seriously man," he continued, "my dick, Kendall hurt it so bad, it may never work again!"

"Never say that again," Logan advised, shaking his head slowly.

"Whatever," James continued his speech, "if I can't get a boner again, don't have sex again, that would be terrible! So many chicks would miss out!" His voice squeaked a little at the end, getting worried.

"Maybe it wouldn't be such a loss," Logan countered, looking sarcastically thoughtful, "I mean, your dick did get you into this mess in the first place."

"Oh it _would_ be a loss," James replied, his voice getting lower and his face serious. "And," he added, "it was my dick _and alcohol_."

**A/N: There you have it! Hope you liked it! Tell me what else you wanna see! You guys are the best! And yes, I think James's dick would be a great loss to the world (if Kendall really did that much damage). Review?**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: For anyone that's interested, there's a poll for what happens next in this in my profile. Yes, there is a Kames stuff option, but sorry guys, I've decided it's not happening. I don't think I can write slash, and I want to keep this as lighthearted, funny, and in-character as possible. But there's a bunch of stuff you can vote on. Go take a look! Or just suggest something to me if you don't see it in the poll.**

**14 reviews? WHAT? You guys are the bestest. Like seriously you rock. Thanks times a bajillion. Yes bajillion is a number...**

**DISCLAIMER OR WHATEVER THAT I PROBABLY DON'T EVEN NEED: I don't own BTR :(. I'm gonna go with that cliche the-show-would-be-very-different-if-ya-know-what-I-mean and leave it at that.**

James was watching a movie with Carlos when Mrs. Knight came home. She saw his face, gasped, and dropped her grocery bags.

"James, what on Earth happened?"

James opened his mouth, when Kendall walked out of his room, followed by Logan.

"I did it, Mom."

"Kendall!" she exclaimed.

"Well, he had reason to. I-" his face turned the closest thing to red it could acheive at the moment, "I slept with Jo."

Mrs. Knight didn't say anything for a moment, then raised her finger, saying "You, know what? I have some laundry to do. I'll give you guys some time, and you talk to me about it when you'r ready. Okay?"

"Thanks, Mom," Kendall said in a tired voice as she walked out, still shocked, and with no laundry.

The next day, they had to go to the studio to record. On the way there, Logan was talking to Kendall about controlling his anger, while James used as much concealer as he could manage to try to hide the fact that he was covered in bruises. It didn't work.

They got to the studio, Kendall with his fists clenched and James looking down. They were in the recording booth, when Gustavo looked up and noticed James's face.

"Dogs, why does James look like he got stuck in between two boxers during the biggest match of their lives? Because his face is kind of," Gustavo waved a hand over his face, as if searching for the word, "screwed up."

James, Kendall, and Logan went silent, which confused Carlos, who piped up "Kendall beat him up."

"CARLOS!" The other three screamed.

"What? He asked a question," he replied, shrugging and wondering what the big deal was. Kendall slapped his hands over his face.

Gustavo's face turned beet red and his face scrunched up as he stood and yelled to Kendall, "Why did you do that? Griffin is not going to be happy!"

This got no response from the boys. Gustavo went and paced around outside, hands on his temples, as he muttered, "I need aspirin!" The rest of the crew took a break, leaving the boys alone to talk.

"Dude, I'm sorry," James said.

Kendall gave him a dirty look.

"We were drunk!" James exclaimed, adding, "That party SUCKED."

Logan went over to talk to him, convincing him not to be too mad at James. Eventually, James and Kendall agreed to tell Gustavo.

Gustavo came back in, trying to stay calm. "So boys, is there anything you want to tell me?" he asked tentatively, carefully trying to keep from exploding.

"Actually," Kendall said, "there is. Can we talk to you, like, in private?" he moved his hands around awkwardly, trying to look like it was no big deal, even though he was nervous as hell.

James and Kendall sat down in the two chairs across from Gustavo's desk.

"So," James began, folding his hands and trying to look important, like he was making a deal, "what would you say if I told you the reason Kendall messed up my beautiful face," he choked a little, the thought of how The Face looked now made him a little emotional, "was because I slept with his girlfriend, Jo, and now she's pregnant?" he pulled back quickly, putting his hands up and raising his eyebrows, eyes wide. Kendall sat with one foot up and his arms crossed, attempting to look cool even though he was very tense.

Gustavo flinched, turning red, then relaxed a little, and folded his hands together. "Boys," he said, in the overly nice tone that meant there was a lecture and some screaming coming up, "there are some things that are bad for a young band's image. This includes spiritual gurus, spray tans, bongos, pants that are too tight, pants that aren't tight enough, oh, and when one band member SLEEPS WITH THE LEADER'S T.V. STAR GIRLFRIEND AND GETS BEAT UP!" he yelled the last part, arms flailing.

Kendall's eyes got wide and he sat up, his head abruptly turning to James.

"Run."

"Hey, Jo, can we, you know, talk to you?" Kendall said, trying to seem casual as he and James walked up, holding their breath.

"Sure."

They ushered her to 2J, where they made sure no one else was around before proceeding.

"So," James said, "how the hell do you plan on knowing whose baby it is?" James said, his voice high and panicky.

"Dude," Kendall hit him lightly on the arm, which caused James to groan; he had a bruise there, "calm down."

"Oh, I'm sorry," James replied, "but I'm not ready to be a FATHER and I'd like to know!" he exclaimed, worried.

"You think I am?"

"Well at least she's your girlfriend!"

"You're the one who fucked her! WITHOUT a condom." Kendall clarified before James could say anything.

"Well if worst comes to worst, we can wait and see if the baby has MASSIVE eyebrows," James countered.

"Funny," Kendall said, "I'm still not the one who did anything wrong here!"

"It could be yours!"

"We used a condom!"

"They could've, you know, swam past," James replied, making a fish motion with his hands.

"Oh yeah, that's a lot less likely!"

"Oh my god, what if she's having twins and one's mine and one's yours!"

"GUYS!" Jo said, breaking it up, as they swiveled their heads simultaneously to face her, "I'll get a DNA test."

**A/N: Dun dun dun! You can vote on whose baby it is and more in my profile. One question I forgot to add to that poll, should Jo and Kendall break up or stay together? Tell me what you think! Keep the reviews coming! They put a smile on my face. Ta ta for now!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: 20 reviews. 20. TWENTY. T-W-E-N-T-Y. 2-0. 10 times 2. 4 times five. Twenty. No shit? Guys, twenty reviews? YOU ARE LEGIT THE BEST. Like, you're so super duper uber wicked awesomely cool. I LOVE YOUU! THANKS A BUNCHES!**

**Alright guys, my poll IS still open. As far as the father goes, James is winning by ONE VOTE. ONE. So, go vote! Kendall supporters, you better step up! James people, be careful, they're only a vote or two away from beating you! Go go go! But first, read this!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own BTR... NOW GET OUT OF MY FACE!**

**^Okay, not that. Read this!**

_***~*~you know you love me (-not that either this is just a page break)~*~*~**_

"So, guys," Kendall began as they all sat around on the orange couch, eating dinosaur chicken. Amazingly, they didn't way four hundred pounds. "It's time for a decision... DRUMROLL PLEASE!"

Logan drummed his hands on the small table.

"Should I break up with Jo?" he said, sighing and sitting down on the couch. "I mean," he continued, "she slept with James!"

"Could be worse," James said, pointing to Logan and Carlos on either side of him with his thumbs, "she could've slept with virgin or forever abstinent here. Then she'd be a whore for sure."

"Hey!" Carlos and Logan exclaimed, clearly a lot less offended than they could've been.

"Whatever," Kendall said, "guys, what do you think?"

"I think you should break up with her. The romance had a high probability of failing anyway, and now you can get it out of your system. It'll be good for you," Logan said thoughfully.

"I don't think you should," Carlos responded, and they all focused their attention on him. "What?" he countinued, "She was drunk. We all do some crazy shit when we're drunk."

"Carlos, have you ever even tasted alcohol?" Kendall replied doubtfully.

"Well, no, but no one will let me! I'll be at a party and be like 'Hey, can I have some of that?' And then they go, 'No way, dude.' And so I say, 'Why the hell does everyone always say that?' And they're all, 'Because, you're crazy enough on your own, I don't need to see you bouncing off the walls and getting in trouble.' And so I go 'What? You've only known me for an hour!' And then they say-"

"Carlos! We get it," Kendall screamed, snapping Carlos out of his whiny rant.

"Also, last time I saw that happen, you'd actually known her since kindergarten," Logan explained.

"Oh, that explains why she seemed so pissed..." Carlos trailed off, deep in thought.

"I hate it when you're trying to pick up a chick and you don't realize who it is," James agreed. They all swiveled their heads at him, raising their eyebrows.

"Right," he said, flinching a little.

"Which brings us back to," Kendall began, jumping at the oppurtunity to get them back on topic, "what I should do about Jo."

"I think you shouldn't break up with her," James said, continuing, "I mean, she might be having your baby," he offered hopefully.

"James, it's way more likely to be yours," Logan corrected him.

"DON'T SAY THAT!" James shreiked. "I'm not ready to be a father. My life plan is to be in BTR, go solo, get acting and modeling careers, and marry a super hot model. NOT get some chick who happens to be my best friend's girlfriend knocked up at sixteen!" He ranted, his voice getting high and pitchy with frustration. "Also," he whipped out his mirror, "Jo has pretty serious eyebrows, even if they're not as bad as Kendall's. I don't want my baby to have eyebrows like that!"

"Hey!" Kendall said, even though he knew it was true.

"Guys! Remember our topic?" Logan said, pulling them back, and getting a chorus of "Right."

"Wait! I got it!" Carlos exclaimed, standing up. "You don't dump her for now, and wait til after the DNA tests. Then, if it's not yours, you dump her, but if it's yours, you kinda have to stay with her."

They all looked at Carlos in shock. No one had actually expected him to have a good idea.

_***~*~This is Ryan Seacrest, and we'll be right back after the (page) break! Lol, jk, it would be creepy if this was Ryan Seacrest.~*~***_

James, Kendall, and Jo sat uncomfortably in the waiting room of the clinic.

"I am so NOT nervous!" James said, pulling out his mirror and his lucky comb and fixing his hair. "I mean, why would I be? I look great!"

"James, this really isn't the time to be obsessing over your looks!" Kendall hissed.

"I'm sorry," James shot back, "But my beauty helps me deal with stress. Because let's face it, I am damn gorgeous," he said, looking back at the mirror.

"Don't you think this is stressful for all of us!" Kendall replied, pulling the mirror down from in front of James's face.

"Well, not for Jo. She already knows she's pregnant!" James whisper-yelled, causing some heads to look up at them.

"Yeah, but she doesn't know who the father is!" Kendall said as quietly as he could make himself, as more people looked up to watch them.

"Guys!" Jo said, "Shut up! There's paparazzi everywhere!"

"They're gonna find out event-" James said as Kendall clapped a hand over his mouth, before he said anything else. James licked Kendall's hand, who pulled away.

"Dude, gross!"

James crossed his arms and looked away, when a nurse came in.

"Jo Taylor," she announced. The three got up and followed her to a small white room.

"Okay, Jo, you wait in here for a moment. Boys, we're just going to need a small hair sample from you."

James let out a quick, high pitched scream as his hands flew to his head. "My hair! THE hair!" he said, clearly worried.

Kendall chuckled, "Dude, they only need like, a piece."

_**~*~*This is my last page break until the author's note! Oh no! I know you'll miss 'em!*~*~**_

"You know, that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It's not noticeable, it is?" James said, pulling out his mirror.

"James! They only took ONE HAIR. You have millions!" Kendall said, rolling his eyes at his friend's obsession.

"Okay," the nurse said, coming out of the room with Jo, "We'll tell you when the results are back."

James examined his hair in the mirror as they walked away, combing it until he was satisfied that it was perfect.

_***~*~And now a word from our sponsor: the author's note!~*~***_

**A/N: Did ya like? I hope so! If you did, press the review button! If you didn't, do it anyway and tell me how to improve! Thanks for reading! I totally just winged that chapter. I didn't really have anything in mind for what to write other than the hair part; thanks to a reviewer for inspiring that! Lol, that sounds so cheesy, but her idea gave me that idea! I don't remember your username and I'm too lazy to go look it up, but you know who you are!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Ok, just give me a moment to go scream into my pillow. Why you ask? I'LL TELL YA WHY! I GOT 34 REVIEWS, THAT'S WHY! YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, 34! WHY DID I GET 34? CUZ I HAVE THE BESTEST READERS EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WHOLE ENTIRE FRICKEN UNIVERSE, DUDE! AND THEY DECIDED TO GIVE ME 34 FREAKING REVIEWS BECAUSE THEY ARE AHMAZING!**

**There you have it. Sorry, I'm calm now. Onward with the story! But wait! First, I have a dumbass disclaimer thing! Yay!**

**DISCLAIMER: Yeah, I don't own BTR. Scott Fellows does. It's probably because he won't make them do anything "sexual" or "innapropriate." You know what, just forget I even said that. Because SOME PEOPLE might not approve or whatever, since they're like 6 years older than me. SHUT UP, OK? A GIRL CAN DREAM! And wow... I got really distracted. Hey, remember that fanfic thing you actually came here for? I think I'll write that now...**

_**~*~*No way! The rare and beautiful page break!*~*~**_

James, Kendall, Logan, and Carlos were sitting together on the orange couch when Mrs. Knight walked in. As soon as she did, Kendall and James looked away, trying to avoid eye contact, as Logan and Carlos snickered, not trying whatsoever to hide their amusement at how much the taller boys wanted to avoid the upcoming conversation. James had even tried to hide behind Carlos.

"James, I can see you. You're 6'2", you can't hide behind Carlos," Mrs. Knight said, laughing a little, and trying to make the situation more comfortable. So far, it was not comfortable.

Logan laughed. "NOONE can hide behind Carlos," he commented.

"Oh yeah?" Carlos replied, "Yeah, you're just SO tall. You know what, when I'm a giant, you'll be the short one Logan."

"A giant?" Logan scoffed, "I thought you were going to be a superhero."

"Ehh," Carlos shrugged, "This is incase the whole space-rock thing doesn't work out."

"Whatever," Logan said, shaking his head, "they're both physically impossible anyways."

"Can't you just let me have this!" Carlos squeaked, getting frustrated. Logan always shot down his dreams, saying they were "physically impossible" or that they'd "get him killed," and he'd throw around words like "illegal" and "jail."

"BOYS!" Mrs. Knight called, interrupting the argument. Three of them looked up at her. James was still attempting to hide behind Carlos, wishing he could dissapear if it wouldn't be such a waste of beauty.

"Yeah?" Kendall said, cracking his crooked, innocent smile.

"You know what we need to talk about," she said, pointing at Kendall and James. Carlos moved, making sure James was able to be seen.

"Yeah, about that, can we talk to you in the kitchen? Come on, James," Kendall said, glancing at James, who kind of looked like he had just run over someone's puppy.

"Well, why don't we juuust taakkkeee aa moomenttt tooo relaax here?" James replied hopefully, saying it as more of a question than a suggestion and dragging out each word in hopes to stall.

Kendall grabbed James's ear and pulled him over to the kitchen to talk to Mrs. Knight.

"So," Mrs. Knight began, "can you tell me what happened?" she was trying to stay as calm as possible.

They nodded.

"Well," Kendall began, "I've slept with Jo, and then she told me she was pregnant. So I assumed it was mine, but then James admitted that he slept with her too, so now we don't know."

Mrs. Knight nodded, deciding not to question WHY James had slept with Jo. They were teens, and she didn't need to hear her (practically) son tell her about being a horny teenage boy.

"Now, did either of you use protection?" Mrs. Knight asked carefully, pointing to the two of them the way she usually did when she was asking who broke something, or lit something on fire, or ate the last brownie, or telling them not to touch something because they would probably just do one of the previous things.

"Weeell," James squeaked, offering up his most innocent puppy-dog face.

"I did, but James didn't," Kendall finished for him.

"James," she said, putting on a tight grin and trying to fight her headache, "why didn't you use protection?" _Never mind have sex with Jo_, she thought.

"We got caught up in the moment!" James defended, touching his hair and then letting his arms flail around, exagerrating his point. He decided to leave out the part where the two of them got completely hammered. She didn't need to know that.

"Ok." Mrs. Knight stated calmly, "I'll let you two work the rest of this out, but tell me if you need help."

"Thanks Mom," Kendall said, smiling weakly. She kissed him on the head before turning to leave.

James blew out a long breath, rubbing his hands together. "That went well," he said, then, pulling out his mirror, he added, "and I didn't even break a sweat."

Kendall rolled his eyes and they returned to the couch to watch whatever it was with Logan and Carlos. Suddenly, Kendall's phone rang.

It was Jo.

_***~*~Dun dun dun! I'm gonna make this an extra long page break just to raise the suspense! Muahaha! So, do you guys think I'm funny or just annoying?Funny, right? RIGHT? I should be a comedian... HA that's why! Cuz THAT WAS A JOKE! Ok, end of the page break...~*~***_

Kendall and James arrived at Jo' apartment and knocked on the door quickly. They did it at the same time, causing them to accidentally fist bump. They laughed about how this was the coolest thing ever, until Jo answered the door and they reminded why they had come.

"Hey, guys, why don't you come sit at the table?" Jo gestured towards the kitchen table, where they both sat, looking nervous.

"Do you want anything to drink?" Jo asked nervously, knowing she would soon have to tell them.

"Can you just tell us Jo?" Kendall spit out, obviously frustrated.

"Ok," Jo said, sighing and sitting down at the table with the two boys. "It's J-James's"

Kendall's mouth dropped, but he couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. James, on the other hand, was just the opposite, and began to laugh nervously.

"Oh great," he laughed, as Jo and Kendall looked at him, confused. "This is AWESOME! I am so happy. Couldn't be better, right? I mean- this is fantastic," he continued to laugh nervously, fixing his hair every three seconds and patting Kendall on the back. "Did you hear that, Kendall?" he continued, "I got your girlfriend knocked up! This is just great."

"Are you high?" Kendall asked, furrowing his eyebrows, confused.

James just continued to laugh nervously.

"I'm serious, are you?" Kendall said, seriously wondering about his friend now.

"I FUCKING WISH!" James yelled at him suddenly, hands waving in the air. He got up, frustrated, and model-walked out of the apartment. He did the strangest things when he was stressed.

"I better go check on him," Kendall said, gesturing towards the door with a weak smile, before getting up and running away from a confused Jo.

_**~*~*Up next: An author's note!*~*~**_

**A/N: Soooo everybody, here it is! It was James! Da da daaa! He won the vote 7 votes to 5, so if you wanted Kendall but just didn't step up, it's too late! Shoulda coulda woulda, right? Besides, I have some ideas for the next chapter now...**

**Coming up next: Umm... Is James ready to be a dad? I wouldn't bet on it... Also! What happens to Kendall and Jo? On Tuesday, I have to study for English (hardest class eva) and History (huge test). So, if they call a snow day for wed. in advance, then I'll probably have the next chapter up tomorrow! If there's a snow day but it's not announced til that day, it will be up on Wednesday! If there's not enough for a snow day, I will be spending my Wednesday at the barn, and won't get the next chapter up til Thursday! So yeah, my writing is weather-based.**

**Want something new to read? Well, this is a shared account, and my super cool friend Aloghty (that's her screename), who shares the account, is writing a new story! It does have OC's, sort of, but not really. NO MARY-SUES! They OC's (sort of?) are all screwed up, but not enough to actually distract from the ****sexy**_**wonderful **_**BTR boys! Oh, and they're only sort of OC's because the characters are based off the two of us and two of our best friends, just exagerrated (ok, some things are not exagerrated at all). I'm Maia! Go read it if you're interested! PM me (us? Just say BandanasAreCool [or Sexy works too, you know whatever] or Aloghty for who ya want to talk to) if you have any questions.**

**Wow, that's a lot of A/N in this chapter. See you later?**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So, I guess you guys seem to want to see more of this. Um, I'm really tired so I'm not gonna go screaming about how I have 44 FRICKEN REVIEWS. Love. You. Guys. SFM.**

**Anyway, I don't have a lot planned for this chapter, so I'll just wing it? Hmm, I might not finish... my mom tends to come stalk my room at around 9:44 and not leave til about 9:57 (yes, I count down to the exact minute). And the computer has to be off (they can hear me typing) at 10, and it's 9:36. So, this might not get posted until tomorrow morning. We'll see how it goes.**

**DISCLAIMER: See previous disclaimers. You get the fricken idea.**

_**~*~*I figured out how to do normal page breaks, but I've grown attached to these.*~*~**_

Kendall walked into 2J, pacing around with his arms crossed.

"Dude, what are you so stressed about?" Logan asked, wondering why Kendall looked so worried.

"Because, I have to dump Jo today!" Kendall said, his eyes getting wide with worry and tension.

"Hey, at least it's not a as bad as James," Carlos called to him through a mouthful of corndogs, "he hasn't come out of his room all day!"

"He's got a point," Logan said, looking up from his math book.

"What's he even doing in there?" Kendall asked them, confused.

"I don't wanna know," Logan said.

"All I know," Carlos said from his spot on the couch with his videogames, "is that I haven't been able to get in my room all day!"

At that moment, James walked out of his and Carlos's room, rubbing his hands together with a big smile on his face.

"Do I smell something burning?" Kendall questioned him, looking suspicious.

"Hairdryer. There was a tiny fire," James pinched his fingers together in the air, then shook his (very well blowdryed) head, letting it go, "but it's out now. DId your mom make waffles?"

Logan started to form the word "how" but decided not to ask.

"Um, James?" Kendall replied, "It's four in the afternoon."

He shrugged. "I'll just have some cereal."

Logan and Carlos looked expectantly at Kendall, knowing they probably needed to talk to him.

"Hey, James, are you okay?" Kendall finally asked, as James ate his "breakfast".

"What? That's ridiculous! I'm fine! Stressed? No! Why? AM I GETTING A ZIT?" he screamed, suddenly panicked.

"Dude," Carlos replied, "no one even asked about stress."

"Pshhh, why would they? I'm totally NOT STRESSED," he said firmly "Now, I'm gonna go wash my face. He quickly pulled out his mirror, checking to make sure he hadn't gotten a single zit.

"Well, we tried," Kendall said, raising his arms in defeat. "I have to go do this. Bye," he said, walking towards the door.

_***~*~Like I said, I'm winging it, okay? Get out of my face! XD~*~***_

Kendall walked into the Palm Woods lobby, where he had told Jo to meet him. She was sitting on one of the couches, waiting for him. She didn't look happy to be there.

"Hey Kendall," she said sweetly, glancing around to see who was near them.

"Jo," he said, trying to sound happy. "Can I talk to you, like, in private?"

They went up to Jo's apartment, where Kendall sat down on the couch with her.

"Look Jo," he said, sighing, "I think we should break up."

"What, so you're just going to leave me when I'm pregnant!" she yelled, catching him off guard.

"It's not my baby!" he replied, thinking this was obvious.

She went quiet, just giving him an evil glare.

"You should go now."

Kendall got up and left, feeling like a huge weight had been taken off his shoulders.

_**~*~*That's all for now?*~*~**_

**A/N: Sorry! Omg this is super short, but I got it up, right? (That's what HE said lmao).**

**Anyway, I promise it will be better soon! Sorry for the horrible and short chapter! *hides from rocks being thrown at her* As long as you don't throw raisins...**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I am sooo sorry, to start out. Reviewers have been awesome, and no one probably even remembers this story right now. But there's been a ton of shit going on, so I haven't updated in forever. But you know what, here goes nothing. By the way, next chapter is probably the last. But there might be an epilogue-ish thing.**

**DISCLAIMER: I GIVE UP!**

_**~*~*I almost forgot about my page breaks!*~*~**_

James sunk down into the orange couch, sighing.

"Hey dude, what's up?" Logan asked.

"Oh you KNOW what's up," James replied, his face serious. "Some seriously deep shit is up."

Logan nodded, knowing he wasn't going to get any good conversation right then. Then again, conversation with James was always about girls, singing, or hair. Or how Minnesota could suck his dick and he was psyched to be in Hollywood.

"I mean, what do I do now?" James asked, "Wait?"

"Well," Logan started, "you could make a list of stuff you can get for the baby, to help Jo out."

"Keep talking," James said looking sort of interested.

"That's it," Logan replied.

"Ok," James said as he got up, "whatever you say."

Kendall walked in, and James stopped him as he walked by.

"Hey, dude, is there such thing as special hair mousse for babies, or do they just use like, regular people mousse?"

Kendall just shook his head and walked past James, going to sit down next to Logan on the couch.

"What was that?" He said, confused.

"He's really bad with advice," Logan replied, which seemed to be enough of an explanation for Kendall.

"So where is he now?" Kendall asked.

"I think he was on his way to the lobby."

Oh I probably should've warned him..." Kendall said, thinking out loud.

"About what?" Logan asked, confused.

"Well..."

_***~*~Oh hey, a super duper funtastic page break! And yes, that's FUNtastic not fantastic. Just thought of that myself. Genius, right? I thought so.~*~***_

James paced in the lobby, trying hard to think of stuff he would need for a baby. So far his list only had hair mousse and really really small clothes.

"YOU!" He heard from behind him. He suddenly felt a hard slap on the back of his head, which would obviously mess up his hair.

"What the fuck?" He asked, turning around and rubbing his head. He came face-to-face with Jo, who had red eyes and ears running down her face.

"I hate you!" She slapped him again, in the face this time.

"Ow! What?"

"You KNOW what! This is all your fault!"

"Whoa, MY fault? You need two for this sort of stuff!"

"I was drunk!"

"SO WAS I!"

"Fuck you!" She yelled, before kicking him in the balls and walking away.

"These guys have taken a lot of hits during this whole situation," James yelped as he stumbled back off towards the elevator.

_**~*~*It's a page break! It's a page break! It's a P-A-G-E B-R-E-A-K PAGE BREAK!*~*~**_

"Oh my goodness" James moaned as he flopped onto the orange couch, where Logan and Kendall still sat, watching a movie.

"What on earth happened to you?" Logan asked.

"Jo." James and Kendall replied in unison.

"And that's what I should've warned him about," Kendall said, gesturing at James.

"What?" James asked, lifting his head a little bit.

"This. I'm guessing Jo kicked you because she was pissed because I broke up with her."

"So this is YOUR FAULT?" James yelled.

"Well, not really... you did get her pregnant."

"Oh, like that has anything to do with anything.'

"Well actually... it kinda does."

"And you said anything twice," Logan pointed out.

"You bet I fucking did!" James replied, then, turning to Kendall, added, "And really, she only attacked ME because YOU dumped her."

"Well yeah, because you-"

"I swear to God," James interrupted him, "Kendall, you will be the death of my balls."

"That is highly possible," Kendall said. "But you've long deserved it," he added with a smug grin.

_***~*~Ridiculously long author's note timee!~*~***_

**A/N: There it is! Ok, again, I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SOOOOOO sorry this is so crappy and short and AN ENTIRE MONTH LATE. I feel soo bad about that. A lot happened. It's a long story. Because of this long story, this is the last story I will post on this account. I have one more chapter, and then some little sequel-ish stuff, which will be posted on my other account. If you want to know what said new account is, PM me and I'll gladly tell you, but we don't have anything up yet (though we are gonna get some stuff up soon OMFG THAT'S WHAT HE SAID!)**

**Anyways, you guys are so sooo awesome, and if you actually remember this from all that time ago, then even awesomer! Oh I feel soo bad about just posting this now but hey, here it is. Deal with it.**

**Bye loves, it means the world to me that you guys actually like this (not that you actually remember liking it, since it was forever ago *hides*)**


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